Sticky subject

With so many of these free resources knocking about I thought a couple of ideas might come in useful.

So here are:

20 uses for a common or garden 'Stick'


A straight stick can be used for directing people to the location that it is pointing.

A bent stick can be used for pointing around corners, or indeed for pointing towards people that are around the corner without causing them offence.

Long, thin sticks that go 'Swoosh' when cut through the air can be used for playing 'GOD' amongst the stinging nettles (bastards).

A sharp stick could have your eye out

A whippy stick, such as hazel is ideal for 'pugging' dog poo.

Very large sticks could cause a nasty accident if hurled under a moving bicycle.

Small sticks that are accidentally eaten as part of a buffet meal wreak havoc with the intestine and sphincter.

Collect many small, dry sticks and set fire to them. Great fun for pyromaniacs.

If you get pissed off with the type of music that is played on your car stereo - poke the tuning device with a smooth stick. This will cause the channel to be changed to a more favourable one.

Alternatively, if you decide that the CD that you are playing is quite hideous then jam a sharp stick into the device.

Wrap a piece of tissue tightly around one end of a small, sterile stick and use it to clean out your ear.

Insert a stick into the ground so that only 35 cm is sticking out, then force a piece of cheese onto the end. If you are patient, you may see a rodent nibble at the tasty morsel. If you are quick - you can thrash the bugger with a large, knobbly stick before it escapes.

Two sticks lashed together to form a cross make a handsome defence against vampires .

Ancient people used sticks to tell the time - daft bastards!

You can determine which way the wind is blowing with a stick flung vertically into the air - do not use heavy logs for this experiment as they can be difficult to lift.

A brown stick can look quite different in a darkened room.

Try whacking a wasps nest with a stick for an amusing effect.

The man that first said he had more sheep than he could shake a stick at was a complete idiot.

A large stick with leaves on it is often called a tree by botanists'